Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize