Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
