I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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