Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
