He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
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