i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
