I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
and she was petting her beer can
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
