I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize