Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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