Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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