He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
