of course. lets lasso hookers.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
