what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
