Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
