Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
