i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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