it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
