I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
