You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just blew my weed a kiss
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
