Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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