You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
