Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
