Having a random hookup so left but love u
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
