I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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