Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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