Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
