? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize