I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Operation Purity has been aborted
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
