i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
