I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
