She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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