Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
