I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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