Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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