I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize