She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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