her vagine was all disorganized.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
