she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Boobs are out for the taking
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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