I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
