: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
