Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
She bit a glass in half.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize