real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
