They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
