About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
