There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
