weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
