break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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