My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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