I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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