Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
