K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
