And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
