Can i not drive my cunt home
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
