I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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