Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
