Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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