He asked to "fluff my boner.."
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
