The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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