dude i'm inner monologue high
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
