Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
